Hey there, One Liner dad jokes lovers! Are you ready to crack up with some of the funniest, quirkiest one-liners of 2025? We’ve rounded up 50 brand-new, laugh-out-loud jokes that are quick, clever, and perfect for sharing with friends, family, or even coworkers.
From puns about time travel to witty wordplay about cheese and flamingos, these jokes are packed with humor that’s both smart and groan-worthy (in the best way possible). Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or something to brighten someone’s day, these one-liners have got you covered.
So, let’s dive in and see how many of these zingers you can remember to share later. Warning: you might find yourself chuckling long after you’ve read them! Let’s keep the laughter rolling into the new year. 😊
Here’s a list of 50 fresh, original, and ultra-funny one liner dad jokes like you’ve never seen before:
- I told my plants a joke… now they’re rooted in laughter.
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
- I’m on a seafood diet—I see food, and I eat it.
- I gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge.
- My wife said I need to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
- The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
- I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
- Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I broke my arm in two places. My doctor told me to stop going to those places.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
- I told my dog a joke about fetch… but he didn’t get it.
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
- I once ate a clock—it was time-consuming.
- My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- I bought a thesaurus, but when I opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- My wife told me to stop singing “Wonderwall.” I said, “Maybe…”
- I went to a restaurant on the moon. Great food, no atmosphere.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
- I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
- Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
- I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
- Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
- I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
- I told my wife I’d stop drinking coffee in 2025… starting tomorrow.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- I wanted to be a professional baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
- My phone wanted to tell me a joke, but it couldn’t find a good signal.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- My calendar is looking so tired—it’s got too many dates!
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- I told my wife she should take up fencing… she said she’d look into it.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
- I tried to start a landscaping business, but I just couldn’t cut it.
- I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
- I burned 2,000 calories yesterday… I forgot my pizza in the oven.
- I told my vacuum cleaner a joke. It sucked.
- I tried to play hide and seek with my GPS, but it kept giving away my location.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- My computer has too much personality… it always has a bad attitude.
- I got my wife a refrigerator for her birthday. I told her it’s the coolest gift ever.
- Why don’t secrets stay in the ocean? Because they always leak!