In this article, we’ve rounded up 65+ of the best corny dad jokes ever—perfect for any occasion! Whether you’re hanging out with friends, chatting with family, or just need a quick pick-me-up, these jokes will make everyone smile (and maybe groan a little).
From food and animals to sports and holidays, we’ve covered every topic you can think of. These jokes are easy to remember and super fun to share. Plus, we’ve included some clever puns, silly one-liners, and even a few jokes so cheesy they’ll make your pizza jealous.
So, dive in and get ready to laugh! After all, life is always better with a little humor—and these jokes prove that even the corniest punchlines can be hilarious. Trust us, your joke game is about to level up!
Food-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing! - What’s a skeleton’s favorite meal?
Spare ribs. - Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up! - What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot. - Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
Animal-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- Why don’t cows have any money?
Because they’re always being milked dry. - What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear. - Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field. - What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator. - Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tail.
School and Work-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright. - What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!” - Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything. - What’s a computer’s favorite snack?
Microchips. - Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.
Holiday-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- Why was the Christmas tree so bad at knitting?
It kept dropping its needles. - What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite. - Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks. - What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Boo-berry pie. - Why did the Easter egg hide?
It was a little chicken.
Weather and Nature-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- What does a cloud wear under its clothes?
Thunderwear. - Why are mountains always tired?
Because they don’t Everest. - What’s the best kind of music for a tree?
Poplar music. - Why did the sun go to school?
To get a little brighter. - What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Tech and Science-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the smartphone go to school?
It wanted to get smarter. - What’s a robot’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal. - Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired. - Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs. - What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra.
Relationship-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t have the guts to commit. - What did the sock say to the foot?
You’re toe-tally awesome! - Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It felt crumby. - How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together. - Why don’t calendars ever date?
They’re too booked up.
Sports-Themed Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one. - Why are basketball players such good dancers?
They’ve got all the right moves. - What’s a baseball player’s least favorite type of weather?
A rainout. - Why did the stadium get so hot?
All the fans left. - What’s a runner’s favorite type of candy?
Fast breaks.
Classic Corny Dad Jokes
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts. - What’s brown and sticky?
A stick. - Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired. - What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta. - Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Even More Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend?
He felt she was too clingy. - Why did the fish blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom. - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese. - Why did the bank hire the calendar?
It had a lot of dates. - Why did the cow buy a telescope?
To see the moooon.
Bonus Corny Dad Jokes
- Why do bananas never get lonely?
They hang out in bunches. - What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time. - Why did the music teacher go to jail?
She got caught with sharp notes. - What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed veggie. - Why are elevator jokes so good?
They work on so many levels.
Even More Bonus Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi. - Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool. - What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick. - Why do bees hum?
Because they don’t know the words. - What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hey, bud!”
Final Five Corny Dad Jokes
- What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I’ll go on ahead. - Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels. - Why did the gym close down?
It just didn’t work out. - Why did the barber win the race?
He knew all the short cuts. - What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.